6 | Do you want a hug?
3-way conversation between Brother Nut 坚果兄弟, UBERMORGEN and The Third Sister
亲爱的朋友，
你想要一个拥抱吗？
我想要。我需要一个。迫切地需要。
被正在走向死亡的老人包围着——我的父亲，Liz 的父亲——他们正在离开这个世界，而参与这个过程是一件强烈到难以承受的事情。在彻底的压抑与毫无遮蔽的残酷情绪之间，我感觉自己像一层被过度拉紧又被反复击打的、震动着的、薄如皮肤、几乎透明的膜。我们握着彼此的手，和他们一起，也和彼此一起。这有帮助，但并不能改变毁灭感。或者也许正因为现实击碎了所有屏障，击碎了我为了不受伤、不去感受太多而构筑的一切装置，所以才如此艰难。我必须去感受，而这一切又实在太多。而且这还不是唯一真实的东西。一件事情以及它带来的痛苦，更多的悲伤，逐渐转化成精神和肉体上的疼痛。
我希望他们现在就死去。
直到昨天之前，我一点也不希望他们死，完全不希望。
但现在我希望他们死去，被埋葬，离开。
事情不会那么简单，而这也没关系。
我会一路陪着他们。
有时候。
不是时时刻刻。
错了。
这并没关系。
今天，阳光灼烧般地穿过我面前的两扇窗户。这里是巴塞尔郊外一点点的地方（瑞士）。窗外的建筑工地看起来像直接从 Playmobil 玩具目录里复制出来的一样。在瑞士，草更绿，牛奶更浓，山更棱角分明，食物也更丰盛。一切都如此方便，如此顺滑（SMOOTH），如此被设计过，而这反而给它带来一种诡异的丑陋感（UGLY）。我觉得这里的一切内部都藏着腐烂。
下周日我将飞往广州，为东莞一座美术馆里的大型装置作品进行布展。我把自己的未来系在中国身上，我希望如此。这里面有风险，但回报会他妈地令人满足，而我的好奇心甚至还没有被真正激活，所以还有太——多——东西在前面等着。主要是人。然后是地点。然后是谈话、氛围、技术、媒体、食物和文化。谁能想到呢……
最近 UBERMORGEN 一如既往地在进行各种项目，但不知为何，城里似乎出现了一种新的能量和精神。它不像一个新的开始，更像一次启程（Aufbruch），进入新的领域和新的冒险。由于 AI 的存在，生产力正在提升。我们已经不再需要扩大团队来提高产出的质量和强度，我们可以设计属于自己的劳动力。其中一个项目——也是我们将在中国展出的那个——讨论的是，我们这个宏观—微观—总体主义的世界，如何创造出一种基于“便利性”的 SMOOTHUGLYNESS（顺滑丑陋）。
真是个好词。
我的耳鸣正在轰鸣。瑞士太安静了，而那些忙乱和急促的时刻则因为“差异经验”（Differenzerfahrung）而变成一种折磨。
我想要。
送上我的爱。
期待再次见到你。
真诚地，
Luzius
___
Dear Friend
Do you want a hug?
I do, i need one. Urgently!
Surrounded by old men dying, my father, Liz’s father, they are on their way out of of this world and being part of this process is intense, between complete Verdrängung and unfiltered brutal emotions i feel like a hyped up and beat down, vibrating skin-thin see-through membrane. We hold each others hands, with them but also between each other, and it helps but it doesn’t change the devastation. Or maybe it is so difficult because reality breaks down all the barriers, all the dispositives that I have constructed to not be hurting, to not be feeling too much, i have to feel and it is too much and that is not the only thing that is real. One thing and its pain, more sadness turning into mental and physical pain.
I want them to die now.
I didn’t want them to die until yesterday, not at all, but now i want them dead, buried, gone.
It will not be that easy and that is ok.
I will be there along the way, sometimes, not alltimes.
Wrong.
It is not ok.
Today the sun is blistering through the two windows in front of me, in this apartment a little bit outside of Basel (Switzerland), the construction site looks like straight out of a Playmobil catalogue. In Switzerland the grass is greener, the milk is fatter, the mountains are kantiger and the food is fuller. Its so convenient here, everything SMOOTH and very designed, which gives it a weird UGLY vibe. I think there is a lot of rot within everything here.
Next Sunday i will be flying to Guangzhou for setup of a large-scale installation at a museum in Dongguan. I tie my future to China, i want it that way, it’s risky but the rewards will be satisfying AF and my curiousity isn’t even fully stimulated, so there is sooooo much to come. Mainly people, some locations and then conversations and vibes and technology and media and food and culture, who would have thought...
Recently UBERMORGEN has been working on different projects as always, but somehow there is a new energy and spirit in town, it feels not like a new beginning but a Aufbruch into new areas and ventures and an increase in productivity due to AI, we don’t need to expand our team anymore to increase our output quality and intensity, we can design our own workforce. One of the projects - the one we will show in China - deals with how our macro-micro-totalitarian world has created a SMOOTHUGLYNESS that is based on the principles of convenience. Whatawordcombination.
My tinnitus is blasting, its very quiet here in Switzerland and the hectic moments are torture due to Differenzerfahrung. I want to.
Sending my love and looking forward seeing you
Yours truly
Luzius-